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| Thursday, November 8, 2007 |
| the morning that i didnt sleep. |
I never expected that the saddest day of my life would fall just a day before my finals exams starts. But who am I to decide? It never occurred to me that my eyes would drop tears the morning that I should be in bed waiting to wake up to continuing studying for my first paper. Yet again, who am I to decide.
It all happened so fast. Reminiscing the moments where you wouldn’t want it to happen at this period of life. Is being 21 just another number or am I ready to face the world without the person that matters to me the most. Then again, who am I to decide? I keep on telling to myself that all things happen for a reason. He brought me up to be a man of courage, discipline and tremendous strength. Should I fail him now? All that is left would be the words uttered by him since I came out of my mother’s womb. Where do I go from here?
Life has never been this quiet. To the contrary, I’m glad words are coming out of my mouth. Making sure that this final would not waste all the efforts I put in throughout the semester, thinking that he would want me to do it because it is my obligation. A lot crossed my mind that morning. How could a person in this situation face all of this and go through their final examination at the same time. I could just fall to the ground without getting back up because I cannot take all of this at one time. But I did not act the way it should be. His words were whispering to my ears, no matter how hard things are, I know you will do just fine. There I stand and ponder upon the choices I’ve made in the past.
It’s been 11 days since, and I’m still standing. Finals are over. Hoping that what I strive for brings reward to the suffering that I’ve been through. It’s just a matter of time. Come to think about it, I’ll never know how and why I did it. Maybe his words helped. Maybe my heart is made of stone or maybe I’m just killing myself inside. If I don’t even know, no one else will.
Thanks to everyone for the support given. I have never expected that people would care for what happened. My heart will always be with all the comforting words from those who were by my side and even those far away. Without everyone else, who am I? I’m just a person standing on a field of grass wondering where to go and what to do next starring at the sky hoping that something will lead me the way.
Fadhli |
| posted by Fadhli. @ 3:26 AM |
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| 6 Comments: |
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Fad, losing someone that u love so so much is undeniably devastating. I mean question like 'why is this happening to me' will suddenly pop-up in your mind. Again, who are we to decide rite.? My advice would be what matters the most rite now is the mother. never left or abandoned her. Take a good care of her and pleases her very well. mother may look strong outside but their feelings are falling apart.
may you and your family will stay strong forever.
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You are a brave person, Fadh. I salute you for doing what you've done. Time will heal the pain, InsyaAllah. If you need anything, I'm always here for you. =)
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Dear Mr Fadhli...
I'm very sorry for the loss u suffered. All condolensces to u n ur family. Be strong always and make sure u get a good night sleep...and good food too...all i wish for all of us to get good results for the past exam we had.
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dearest fadh,
i am sure it was his wish for you to remain strong no matter what. i sangat sedih untuk u. :( but i'm sure you can get through this. take care fadh.
p.s.
sedihla post u ni. :(
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Fad, take this from me.
These rough days will surely pass.
Sooner or later,but it surely will.
Semua yg berlaku ade hikmahnya. I lost him, I got something else. U will too. Tht's exactly ape yg Allah janji pada kita.
Berapa ramai orang yang hadapi dugaan macam kita, losing the loved ones right before finals exams. no one will understand what we went through, that's why i prefer talk to people who felt the same. And i hate it when people said they do.
U be strong, let them know that we are good children, thanks to our late fathers. =)
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Name: Fadhli.
Home: Subang Jaya, Selangor, Malaysia
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Fad, losing someone that u love so so much is undeniably devastating. I mean question like 'why is this happening to me' will suddenly pop-up in your mind. Again, who are we to decide rite.? My advice would be what matters the most rite now is the mother. never left or abandoned her. Take a good care of her and pleases her very well. mother may look strong outside but their feelings are falling apart.
may you and your family will stay strong forever.